Cinta Yang Dewasa Itu Bukan Sekedar Tentang Kepemilikan | Ngaji Filsafat | Dr. Fahruddin Faiz, M.Ag

Osho argues that what we often call 'love' is frequently not love at all, but rather desire, loneliness, dependence, or possessiveness. It's crucial to identify and clear away these false notions to allow true love to emerge. Self-reflection is encouraged to discern if what one perceives as love is merely lust or a desire for status or validation.

Love is not just about a relationship with another person; it is a state of being, an internal transformation. The focus should be on becoming a loving person, rather than solely on who one loves. This shift in perspective, inspired by figures like Erich Fromm, suggests that if we cultivate the capacity to love, suitable objects of love will naturally appear.

Viewing love as possession leads to a loss of interest once the other person is 'owned'. Osho illustrates this with the example of a husband losing interest in his wife after marriage because the challenge of possession is over. This possessive mindset can drive individuals to seek new 'challenges' or relationships, demonstrating an insatiable desire for ownership rather than genuine connection. True love honors the other person as they are, without trying to change or possess them.

Maturity in love is reached when one begins to give, rather than needing to receive. It's about giving unconditionally and selfless sacrifice, rather than fulfilling selfish desires. An adult person is someone who can love by giving freely and without expectation, fostering an environment of mutual help and freedom. Immature love, conversely, tends to enslave and dominate, treating the beloved as a tool to fulfill one's own needs.

Being a 'slave of love' (Bucin) doesn't mean being enslaved by a partner, but rather serving the pure idea of love itself. This means considering love in all decisions and actions, not just towards a romantic partner, but towards everyone and everything. It also implies not fulfilling egoistic or harmful requests from a loved one, as true love aims for their well-being and freedom, not their subservience.

Love is often painful because it brings about transformation. Much like gold is purified by fire, love purifies and elevates us to a higher state of consciousness. This transformative process requires leaving behind old, comfortable habits and embracing new, unknown territories, which can be challenging and uncomfortable. However, this pain is creative and purposeful, leading to personal growth and a better version of oneself, unlike suffering without love, which is often meaningless.