Summary
Highlights
Vanessa Van Edwards reveals that the first place people look when they see someone is their hands, a carryover from caveman days to assess safety. She demonstrates how concealing hands makes others uncomfortable. Her research on TED Talks found that the most popular speakers use significantly more hand gestures (an average of 465) compared to less popular speakers (272), showing openness and conveying confidence. Hand gestures help explain concepts and underline messages, receiving 12.5 times more weight than words.
Van Edwards explains that humans are contagious emotionally and chemically. She references a study where participants smelled sweat pads from recent exercisers and first-time skydivers. Unsuspecting participants who smelled the skydiving sweat showed activated fear responses in their brains, demonstrating that emotions like fear and confidence are chemically contagious.
To illustrate non-verbal contagion, Van Edwards conducted an experiment where she stared up at nothing on a street in Portland, Oregon, observing how people mirrored her non-verbal cue and eventually gathered. This shows that people catch emotions and then create rationales for them. She discusses Dr. Paul Ekman's microexpressions, particularly the fear microexpression, which is universal and helps keep us safe by preparing us for danger.
Our facial expressions not only reflect but also cause our emotions, known as the facial feedback hypothesis. Van Edwards differentiates between a fake smile (only involving the mouth) and an authentic smile (reaching the eyes and upper cheek muscles). Research shows that viewing authentic smiles leads to positive mood changes in observers, while fake smiles generate no emotional contagion, making interactions less memorable.
Van Edwards conducted an experiment showing people can audibly distinguish happiness in a 'hello,' and that a happy intonation makes the speaker more likable. She then delves into verbal contagion, sharing research on speed-networking that identified optimal conversation starters. Generic questions like 'What do you do?' trigger no pleasure. Instead, questions that prompt the brain to seek exciting experiences, such as 'Working on anything exciting these days?' release dopamine, creating pleasure for the speaker and making the questioner more memorable.
The final way we are contagious is emotionally. A study where participants sang 'Don't Stop Believing' into an accuracy software showed that those who reframed their nervousness as excitement performed significantly better (80% accuracy) than those who stated 'I'm nervous' (53%) or a control group (69%). This highlights that anxiety and excitement are similar emotions, and mindset is the only differentiating factor.
Van Edwards concludes by challenging the audience to consciously decide how they want to 'infect' others. She encourages using dopamine-worthy conversation starters, more hand gestures, authentic smiles, and never answering the phone in a bad mood, all to promote positive contagion.