MGTOW Is Ruining Young Men’s Lives

Hundreds of thousands of men are opting out of relationships with women, giving up sex and 'going monk' to avoid contact. These men, known as MGTTOW, unite online in their hatred of the opposite sex. They believe women are impossible to deal with, sharing viral clips of women complaining about relationships or singleness. Sex is off-limits, relationships banned, and marriage considered the ultimate 'no'. The highest level of MGTOW involves quitting jobs and moving off-grid to avoid even seeing women. They justify this by claiming women are manipulative, untrustworthy, and financially exploitative, citing unequal divorce settlements and false rape accusations as proof that society is stacked against men.

While some view MGTOW as a joke, tens of thousands subscribed to an anonymous MGTOW Reddit board before it was banned for hate speech. Virginity is a common theme, with many proudly choosing celibacy, or 'going monk,' due to a deep fear of false rape accusations or women using sex for financial gain. Ironically, some MGTOW men see no issue with paying for sex, believing prostitutes are more honest than 'dishonest prostitutes' (other women). Prostitution and sex dolls allow them to end all other relationships with women. The movement involves 'swallowing the red pill' (from The Matrix) to understand 'how things really are,' progressively reducing contact with women until the extreme 'leaving the matriarchy behind' stage. MGTOW isn't a conventional movement, but followers use its logo and believe individuals are opting out of traditional relationships because the 'deck is stacked against them'.

MGTOW shares some overlap with communities rejecting feminism, but often clashes with Men's Rights Activists (MRAs). While both despise feminism, MRAs want legal changes, whereas MGTOW seeks complete withdrawal from society. MGTOW also differs from incels (involuntary celibates); celibacy is a conscious choice for MGTOW, while incels desire sex but face constant rejection. MGTOW influencers are often middle-aged or older men, divorced or from toxic relationships, who became disgruntled and gave up on women. The speaker understands why these older men choose MGTOW, given potential experiences of losing money, children, and happiness in messy separations.

The problem arises when MGTOW content influences younger men who haven't experienced positive relationships. These younger men are often fatherless and lack the patience or motivation for dating. The speaker, single after many failed relationships and flings, admits to personal poor choices, battles with substance addiction, and embedding himself in toxic relationships. He regrets not realizing earlier what it takes for a stable relationship, not taking health seriously, and being selfish. He wishes for a responsible male influencer to have guided him in his youth.

Instead of telling young boys women aren't worth it, the speaker advocates teaching men and women what's needed for healthy relationships and mutual appreciation. He argues that the 'men versus women' dynamic, like race wars, is a ploy to divide people while elites prosper. Billionaires like Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos do not follow the manosphere. While acknowledging changes in the dating market, divorce statistics (70% initiated by women), and historical legal biases against men, the speaker argues that giving up on women completely is nonsensical. Despite online videos about women's poor dating choices, countless women do not make those mistakes.

The speaker advises against giving up on finding a mate, stating it leads to loneliness and misery. He encourages men to focus on health, stay in shape, build communication skills, and be financially self-sufficient (though not always a requirement). He stresses being an enjoyable person to be around – a 'good guy,' not necessarily a 'nice guy.' He also urges realism: if a man is unhealthy, unemployed, and lives with his mom, he should not expect to attract an 'Instagram model' but rather someone of similar attractiveness. He concludes by emphasizing self-improvement and not giving up, stating that rejection is nothing to lose if one is ready to lose everything. Understanding this at a young age can prevent men from becoming bitter.