Summary
Highlights
Complex trauma often leads to boundary issues, affecting what love looks like (rules against lying, cheating, etc.) and how close individuals allow others into their lives. Traumatic experiences can result in the absence of boundaries, rigid boundaries, unfair boundaries prioritizing authority, or inconsistent boundaries, making it difficult for individuals to manage relationships healthily.
Procrastination in complex trauma is often a flight response, a way to avoid stress due to a perceived lack of tools or support. It can stem from fear of asking for help, fear of failure, seeking instant gratification, or associating procrastination with attention from parents. Other causes include fear of responsibility, a need to stay invisible, perfectionism, difficulty focusing, chaotic environments, being spoiled, a strong internal critic, burnout, addiction, depression, oppositional defiance disorder, self-sabotage, and ADHD.
Complex trauma survivors often shut down their internal alarm systems—intuition, emotions, and conscience—as a coping mechanism. This can lead to walking into danger in adult life because the individual is unable to accurately assess threats. Recovery involves bringing subconscious maladaptive programs to the conscious level.
Recovery involves making subconscious programs conscious through learning and being triggered in intimate relationships or life events. Recognizing and understanding these triggers allows for changing patterns and learning new tools. Growth initially comes from learning but later from painful triggers, which help uncover previously unknown programs. Applying tools and forming healthy connections can lead to significant improvements over time.