Summary
Highlights
The speaker, new to Hong Kong, found herself talking too much in meetings, a stark contrast to her introverted nature in the US. Her Chinese colleagues remained quiet, leading her to believe they were not contributing, which she initially perceived as a 'moral issue' from her Western perspective where speaking up is a duty.
A crucial anecdote about a grandmother calling littering 'immoral' prompted the speaker to investigate cultural definitions of morality. Studies in Canada, Australia, Hong Kong, and Beijing revealed significant differences. Western cultures defined 'immoral' as serious crimes, while Beijing students included disrespect, littering, and talking loudly in public. This highlighted that the Chinese term 'bu daode' (immoral) is often associated with being uncivilized, stemming from different historical and philosophical influences like Confucianism.
Diversity can be a powerful asset if individuals engage in 'perspective-taking.' Instead of conflict, understanding another's viewpoint leads to better, more creative, and win-win solutions. Bicultural individuals often excel at this due to their constant practice in navigating multiple cultural perspectives.
The speaker illustrates perspective-taking with different greeting customs: bowing in Asia versus a handshake in the West. While seemingly different, both express trustworthiness, appreciation, and a welcoming attitude. Understanding this wider perspective of underlying shared values helps bridge behavioral differences and fosters connection.
Research on virtues across cultures (Canada, Beijing, Hong Kong) revealed a universal framework: 'warm' virtues (caring), 'cold' virtues (convictions), 'listening' virtues (to others/laws), and 'meeting' (leading) virtues (listening to oneself). While the framework is consistent, specific behaviors categorized under each virtue differ. For example, 'politeness' and 'modesty' were leading virtues in Hong Kong/Beijing, explaining her colleagues' silence in meetings which was a sign of inner strength and politeness, not lack of contribution.
Adopting a wider perspective allows us to see that different cultural behaviors are often different solutions to similar universal human problems (e.g., establishing trust or defining right/wrong). Recognizing that there are multiple valid perspectives prevents alienation and fosters connection, leading to more possibilities and understanding. It encourages us not to let cultural differences hinder treating others as fellow humans.