Summary
Highlights
Our brains automatically respond to perceived threats, even when we feel calm, which can lead to unhelpful reactions to an escalated person. This applies whether the individual is a child or an adult, and understanding this response is key to managing interactions effectively.
Having a proactive plan with individuals, especially those with FASD, helps them emotionally regulate by processing information ahead of time. This practice also benefits us, helping us avoid unhelpful responses when others' challenging behaviors escalate.
During escalation, talking, even with good intentions, is often unhelpful. Escalation lowers cognitive skills, making it difficult for anyone, particularly those with FASD, to process information. The best approach is often to be quiet, allowing time for calm and clearer thinking before engaging verbally.
It's natural to want to respond to oppositional statements, but this typically stops the thinking process needed for de-escalation. Oppositional behavior often isn't intentional; the individual may not be in full control. Avoiding immediate responses allows both parties to reach a point where they can move forward.
Individuals with FASD struggle to interpret tones of voice, especially when escalated. Their brains can be ultra-sensitive, interpreting even normal tones as yelling. If you must speak, use a soft, gentle volume and tone to avoid further escalation.
While it may seem helpful to state consequences, an 'FYI' about repercussions can easily be interpreted as a threat by an escalated person, hindering de-escalation. Silence is often the better option. If a plan is in place, simply following it is more effective.
Having a practiced plan allows you to disengage by simply stating you're following the plan, enabling silence for the other person to think. It's crucial to inform the individual beforehand that part of your plan is to remain quiet, so they understand you're not ignoring them.
Responding in helpful ways supports the individual in calming down and understanding your support, even during challenging behaviors. This consistency increases their likelihood of practicing emotional regulation over time, leading to improved outcomes.