Summary
Highlights
A $6 fake tongue for magic tricks and practical jokes. It arrived looking like a mafia threat but was realistic and elastic. However, its actual color was brown, contrasting with the pink shown in photos. Verdict: probably sick.
A $7 eggshell topper promising a perfectly circular opening for boiled eggs. The reviewer found it messy and ineffective, shattering the shell rather than making a clean cut, especially challenging on raw eggs which are shown in promotional photos. Verdict: messy and unnecessary.
A three-piece lace toilet seat cover for $25, purchased in brown. The reviewer describes it as hideous, unhygienic, and smelling strongly of cigarette smoke. While the cistern and lid covers were easy to place, the rim cover zipped on, making installation awkward. Verdict: pretty, but without the pretty.
Fish-shaped slippers costing $16. The reviewer ordered the largest size (US 9.5), which were still snug. They made a comical slapping sound when walked in, like a fish being slapped. Verdict: as funny as they are fishy.
A "realistic" fish mask for $14, designed for "mischief." The reviewer was startled by its appearance upon arrival and noted its vile smell of vinegar and moldy cheese. The nostril-shaped eye holes were difficult to see out of. Verdict: mischief, yes! Realistic, no.
A $72 fake silicone pregnancy belly designed for maternity modeling or screen performances. The reviewer found it surprisingly squishy but more like slight bloating than a true pregnancy. The underside was uncomfortably sticky. Verdict: more of a beer belly than a baby belly.
A $4 ingrown toenail fixer resembling a torture device. It hooks under the nail to pull it up. The item arrived with no instructions and proved fiddly and ineffective, breaking under pressure when attempted on a thumbnail. Verdict: toe-tally useless.
A bag of "realistic" fishing lures described as having a fishy smell, priced at $3.73. The reviewer received a small package of short worms that smelled only of disappointment, a stark contrast to the overflowing image shown online. Verdict: useless.
Sets of fake resin teeth, unsuitable for dental work. The reviewer found them horrifyingly realistic and disturbing, noting customer reviews that showed them used in unsettling ways. Verdict: nightmare fuel.
An $11 pimple-popping toy where fake pus (beeswax and oil) is injected into a silicone slab for users to squeeze out. The mixture was thick and difficult to load using the included pipette, which broke easily. The experience was described as unsavory and unsatisfying. Verdict: messy, gross, and unfathomably weird.
A $5.85 urn ring for holding cremated remains, which came with a miniature screwdriver. The ring had a large screw top, which was difficult to open with the tiny screwdriver. The interior was not fully hollow, allowing only a small sprinkle of ashes. The ring was messy to fill. Verdict: messy, but yay, free useless mini screwdriver!
$6 dusting cleaning foot socks that claim to clean floors while you walk. The reviewer ordered green but received a random color. The "one size fits most" claim was a struggle for larger feet, but once on, they were surprisingly comfortable and somewhat effective for light sweeping. Verdict: not entirely terrible.
Belly button stickers priced at $3.73, claiming to remove phlegm dampness, constipation, simple obesity, upset stomach, indigestion, improve cold hands, feet, uterus, and spleen, and remove evil. The product arrived with an intense, unpleasant smell and an ingredient list ending in "et cetera," making the reviewer hesitant to use it due to unknown contents and a potentially hazardous odor. Verdict: evil.
A $9 hollow plastic troll doll body designed to hold a lighter. The reviewer found it exactly as described—a strange, palm-sized, hairless troll that fit a lighter perfectly, making it hard to lose. Verdict: I don't know what I expected.
Michael Myers masks advertised on Wish. The reviewer's ordered mask never arrived. Customer reviews revealed masks that looked drastically different from the photos, often appearing distorted or comically inaccurate, resembling characters from other films or having bizarre features like eyebrows. Verdict:
Pennywise the Clown costumes offered on Wish. The reviewer did not purchase one due to previous negative experiences. Customer images showed costumes that were poorly made with disproportionate facial features, spiky hair, and sad-looking striped pants. Verdict: this thing is fear itself.
A $9 mini spy camera advertised with Wi-Fi, 1080p, night vision, and remote monitoring. It arrived with accessories but no instructions. The included charging cable didn't fit, and the camera failed to record or connect to Wi-Fi, mirroring issues reported in customer reviews regarding blurry picture quality and false advertising of Wi-Fi capabilities. Verdict: disappointed, but for $9, not surprised.
A $6 magnetic, rotating charging cable with multiple heads for different charging ports. The cable and three plugs arrived as described and worked effectively, swiveling 180 degrees and charging at a standard speed. Verdict: my god, it worked. It worked!
Magnetic toe rings claiming to emit 1,100 Gauss of magnetic force to stimulate acupuncture points for metabolism, priced at $2.87. The reviewer found the magnets to be extremely weak, estimating less than a regular fridge magnet's force, disproving the 1,100 Gauss claim. Verdict: your money's better spent on a salad.
A $3.85 product offering a guaranteed 6-10 pearls inside a clam for users to crack open. The received clam was much smaller than pictured, and the pearls, though numerous, felt plastic-like and uniformly shaped, unlike real pearls. Verdict: probably beads.
$4 microfiber cloths, advertised as a roll but sold as a single velvet cloth. The material was ineffective at absorbing spills, merely spreading the liquid. Verdict: avoid this wet mess at all costs.