Summary
Highlights
He distinguishes between 'sitting with' an emotion and indulging in it. He explains that his previous attempts to 'sit with' his mourning sadness often led to him cultivating the emotion, actively seeking it out, and adding 'fuel to the fire,' creating a fabricated, indulgent version of the feeling rather than allowing the true samskara to emerge. This prevented actual release, as he was constantly refueling the emotional loop instead of letting it run its course. He notes that some deep-seated issues might not have intellectual origins (e.g., preverbal experiences, inherited trauma) and can't be resolved solely by understanding them logically.
Tommy introduces another related concept: 'allowing the apocalypse,' where one mentally allows the worst feared scenario to happen without trying to control, avoid, or appease it. He found that by completely accepting the potential negative outcome—whether it's homelessness, loneliness, or loss—the fear's grip lessened, and the contraction around it decreased. Paradoxically, this acceptance often prevented the feared outcome from materializing. Even if it did happen, the initial acceptance made the journey less stressful and allowed for more grace and understanding in facing the reality.
He reiterates that digesting samskaras means allowing impressions, formations, or contractions to rise naturally. The process involves experiencing the emotion fully—even if terrifying—without making it worse, better, avoiding it, pushing it down, or indulging in it. He emphasizes letting the emotion complete its natural arc, leading to eventual acceptance and dissipation. He advises caution, as the process can be intense, and encourages gentleness with oneself. While not a panacea, integrating this practice provides a powerful tool for emotional release and personal growth, complementing other methods.
Tommy Kelly introduces the concept of samskaras, originating from Hindu philosophy but present in various Eastern religions. Samskaras are defined as impressions, imprints, recollections, or contractions around experiences that we hold onto, shaping how we view the world. He relates this to the 'planet' concept in his '47s' magic and divination system, representing the gravitational force of accumulated experiences, both positive and negative. He briefly touches on the common misunderstanding of karma, emphasizing that samskaras are simply impressions made by every action.
Tommy discusses how these impressions can cause people to get stuck, similar to shamanic soul retrieval. He shares his personal journey of seeking healing and self-understanding beyond simply acquiring 'good stuff.' He critiques the common approach to 'shadow work' for often implying fundamental brokenness. He specifically highlights a deep sense of 'mourning sadness' he experienced, which various techniques like journaling, therapy, and New Age methods failed to fully resolve, although they offered partial success.
He introduces the idea of 'digesting samskaras,' learned from Christopher Wallace Hares, possibly rooted in Kashmir Shaivism. This practice involves allowing an emotion, feeling, or memory to arise and play out naturally. The key is not to add to it, repress it, make it 'okay' through spiritual bypassing, or try to 'fix' it. He explains how he previously tried to make negative emotions acceptable, thereby subtly avoiding truly confronting their discomfort. The practice emphasizes allowing the emotion to be exactly as it is, without judgment or attempts to change it, letting its pattern unfold.
Tommy shares a personal example of his grief over his cat's death. He realized he had prevented himself from grieving due to an internal voice telling him to 'get over it' because 'it's only a cat.' This suppression meant the samskara of grief was repeatedly pushed down, preventing its digestion. By consciously stopping this suppression, even though it was challenging and felt automatic, he finally experienced a release. He stresses that external judgment should not dictate personal feelings, and it's valid to feel deep sadness for a beloved pet.