If he wanted to: maybe he would

Dr. Orion Taban addresses the popular meme where women post videos of men performing extravagant acts of devotion, captioned "If he wanted to, he would." This meme implies women should expect royal treatment, and a lack of such indicates disinterest. While acknowledging that men will exert significant effort for women they are highly attracted to, he notes the converse isn't always true; a man's lack of extreme effort doesn't necessarily mean disinterest, but rather he might be playing things smarter. However, he also points out that a lack of effort could stem from the woman's lower attractiveness, stating this bluntly to maintain honesty and urging women to objectively assess their physical appeal.

The speaker argues that these posts are not as innocent as they seem, often functioning as subtle intra-sexual jabs or backhanded compliments. He equates them to a woman saying, "Bless your heart, I wish I had the self-confidence to wear that outfit," which actually means "You look hideous." The memes are humble brags, intended to show the poster is attractive enough to inspire such male behavior, implicitly suggesting they are more attractive than the average woman. This content is thus considered indirect self-aggrandizement.

Dr. Taban makes the bold claim that the women posting these videos are likely not that interested in the men featured in them. He suggests that if a woman were truly attracted to the man and valued the relationship, she wouldn't publicize his efforts, as it could attract other women to him and risk the relationship. He uses the analogy of female primates making noise during copulation to attract more suitable mates, suggesting these posts are a modern equivalent: a public display designed to attract higher-value men.

He further proposes that many of these posts are subtle jealousy traps. Women might be using them to try and elicit a reaction from a man they were previously more attracted to but who didn't give them what they wanted, hoping he will see the competition and try to win her back. The core message is that "contentment is quiet; discontentment is loud." The more a woman boasts about her good fortune, the less likely she actually has much to brag about. He concludes by drawing a male equivalent: a man posting a covert video of a woman performing a sexual act, captioned "If she wanted to, she would," suggesting the underlying message is similar – to showcase one's desirability and attract others. The difference is largely social acceptability, with women's bragging about access to resources being more acceptable than men's about access to sexuality.