Summary
Highlights
Avoidance is a common psychological sin where individuals postpone or ignore tasks they know they should do. This often includes healthy eating, exercise, cleaning, organizing, and especially having difficult conversations. While people claim a lack of motivation, they are often motivated by comfort or other non-preferred activities. Completing avoided tasks, however, leads to significant positive feelings.
The replacement for avoidance is action, driven by free will. Despite some behavioral scientists denying free will, exceptions in human behavior suggest its existence. Conditions like 'learned helplessness,' often seen in trauma victims or those with borderline personality disorder, make exercising free will difficult.
Marsha Linehan developed Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), which trains individuals to use their will. A key technique in DBT is 'opposite action,' where individuals are taught to act directly against their inclinations – for example, taking a walk instead of binging on sugar, or volunteering instead of overspending. This method proved effective with previously untreatable borderline clients.
Making lists is recommended to combat avoidance, especially for non-preferred tasks. Checking items off a list provides a 'dopamine boost,' creating a positive feeling of accomplishment. This can trick the brain into finding enjoyment in completing tasks it initially resisted.
Edith Eger, a Holocaust survivor, exemplifies the power of choice and free will. Despite enduring unimaginable suffering, she focused on the choices she still had, even in the direst circumstances. Her story highlights that even when external freedoms are taken away, the internal freedom to choose one's attitude and actions remains.
Our free will is compared to an unopened present. The video encourages viewers to start using their free will by acting on what they know is right. Experimenting with making and following through on a simple list can lead to increased self-esteem and a greater sense of agency.