Summary
Highlights
The episode introduces Ariana Kincaid, a contestant in a 'biggest liar' contest, setting the stage for a discussion on lying. Anthony from Cambodia poses the central question: why do we lie, and how conscious are we of our lies? He shares his experience of cultural differences in lying, noting that in Cambodia, people are very polite, making it harder to discern underlying truths. He also recounts his two-year-old daughter's first lie, highlighting how early deception begins.
Professor Kang Lee from the University of Toronto explains that children start lying around two and a half years old, almost as soon as they can form sentences. The ability to lie requires understanding that others have different knowledge and the capacity to inhibit the truth to fabricate an alternative. He suggests that lying is a sign of important cognitive development, and parents should view it as a milestone. The propensity to lie peaks around age seven or eight, then declines through the teenage years, only to increase again in adulthood through rationalisation, often termed 'moral licensing'.
The concept of 'moral licensing' is introduced, where people justify their lies by categorising them. Professor Kang Lee identifies different types of lies: 'White Lies' (to be polite), 'Grey Lies' (to cover mistakes), 'Blue Lies' (for a group's interest), 'Purple Lies' (for modesty), and 'Red Lies' (for spite). Ian Leslie, author of 'Born Liars', argues that lying is fundamental to human existence and society, citing studies showing people tell multiple 'white lies' daily. He discusses the Machiavellian theory of intelligence, suggesting that ancestral humans developed social intelligence, including deception, as an evolutionary advantage within large social groups.
The episode highlights the paradox of societal moral codes, which often condemn lying (e.g., 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf'), despite its pervasive nature. It explains that social mechanisms are needed to minimise lying for cooperation and societal function. Ariana Kincaid, the second-best liar in the world's biggest liar competition, shares insights into her experience. The competition, an annual event in West Virginia, USA, is rooted in storytelling tradition. Ariana emphasises that being a good liar involves 'believing' what you're saying, even if it's untrue, and staying close to the truth to avoid body language betraying you.
Dr. Tali Sharot, a professor of cognitive neuroscience at UCL, explains the brain activity during lying. The frontal lobes are active in suppressing the truth and inventing new narratives, while the amygdala, the emotion centre, fires up due to the discomfort of lying. Her research shows that repeated lying desensitises the amygdala, making people less uncomfortable with future lies, a phenomenon called emotion habituation. This can lead to an escalation of lying, often unconsciously, as the brain filters out reactions to familiar, non-harmful stimuli.
Derek Scott, known as 'Let's Double Dutch', discusses cultural differences in honesty between the USA and the Netherlands. Dutch culture values directness and truth, whereas American culture often involves polite 'white lies'. He shares anecdotes about the awkwardness of switching between these cultural norms. The podcast notes that every culture has a unique 'flavour' of lying; for instance, the UK commonly uses white lies, and Japan has 'Honne' (true feelings) and 'Tatemae' (public display) to differentiate between internal and external truths. In China, 'purple lies' (modesty) are common. The degree of truth-telling is always relative to cultural norms.
The episode concludes by reiterating that humans lie because it often provides personal benefits, such as avoiding trouble or gaining an advantage. However, for society to function, a baseline level of trust is necessary, so lying cannot be too prevalent. The host reflects on how their understanding of lying has evolved, acknowledging its social importance while still valuing honesty. The episode ends with a humorous, meta-discussion about sincere feedback versus polite 'white lies' regarding an interview experience, playfully highlighting the very theme of the show.