Summary
Highlights
Emotional intelligence encompasses self-awareness (understanding one's feelings and their basis), self-management (handling distressing emotions effectively and marshalling positive ones), empathy (understanding others' feelings), and social skills (applying these in relationships).
The brain circuitry supporting emotional intelligence matures last. Given the brain's neuroplasticity, Goleman advocates for systematic teaching of self-awareness, self-management, empathy, and social skills in schools. Studies show these programs reduce anti-social behavior by 10%, increase pro-social behavior and liking school by 10%, and boost academic achievement by 11%.
Goleman highlights that leaders lacking emotional intelligence (referred to as 'sons of a bitch') can undermine their company's mission. He notes that while IQ has risen over generations, emotional intelligence may not have, evidenced by rising intergroup conflict and familial abuse, reinforcing the need for social-emotional learning programs globally.
On average, women tend to outperform men in empathy (especially emotional empathy) and social skills, while men tend to be stronger in self-confidence and managing distressing emotions. However, among top-performing leaders, these differences disappear, suggesting that individuals develop strengths in areas they need as they become more effective.
Emotional intelligence is universal, but its expression varies culturally. For instance, Japanese social interactions have rigid rules and subtleties that differ greatly from the more outgoing Brazilian culture. While the superficial manifestations differ, Goleman believes the fundamental principles of emotional intelligence remain constant across cultures.