Summary
Highlights
The speaker began writing about growing up when approaching 60, feeling content with life while observing their children in their twenties struggling with uncertainty. They recall their own similar struggles at that age, noting the societal pressure to enjoy what is often a difficult time, despite feeling miserable. This led to the realization of a mismatch between cultural narratives about youth and aging and lived experience.
The speaker argues that the message that youth is 'the best time of your life' and everything after 30 is 'downhill' has a political function. It encourages resignation to a less interesting and significant life, discouraging efforts for change. This narrative prevents individuals from challenging the status quo and accepts a world that is less than ideal.
A society designed to constantly feed consumer desires by dangling 'shiny new things' (like iPhones or cars) infantilizes adults. These items are portrayed as crucial instruments of adulthood, while the desire to change the world and address global issues (like climate change) is dismissed as 'childish, idealistic, unrealistic fantasies.' This contrast highlights how societal values prioritize consumption over meaningful change.
Drawing on Kant, the speaker discusses the fundamental metaphysical distinction between 'is' (how the world is) and 'ought' (how the world should be). This 'problem of evil' or split between experienced reality and rational ideals is crucial to understanding growth. Kant's philosophy aims to secure both these realms, setting the stage for understanding childhood and adolescence as stages of navigating this distinction.
Children, according to Kant, have a dogmatic faith in truth, accepting reality as given because they know no other. This dogmatism eventually gives way during adolescence when individuals first realize the world is not as it should be, encountering unfairness and injustice. This realization sparks doubt, skepticism, and anger, marking a crucial developmental shift from naive acceptance to critical observation. The example of Peter Pan never forgetting unfairness is used to illustrate this.
Being a grown-up is a continuous process of balancing the 'is' and the 'ought' – having one eye on how the world is and another on how it should be. A decent human being, the speaker suggests, works to lessen the gap between these two. This balance is like a perpetually unstable seesaw, a more difficult path than succumbing to dogmatic idealism (like cult movements) or complete skepticism ('life sucks, then you die'). The true challenge lies in navigating this dynamic relationship.