Summary
Highlights
Post-separation abuse is any domestic violence that continues after a relationship ends, often escalating as the abuser tries to maintain control over the healthier parent. The video introduces the term "hijackal" for individuals who hijack relationships for their own purposes, scavenging them for power, status, and control. These individuals are primarily concerned with getting what they want and do not care about others.
Post-separation abuse is a continuation of the need for power and control. It intensifies when hijackals feel they are losing control or failing, leading to increased anger and perpetuating more abuse. When a healthier partner leaves, the hijackal shifts their focus from controlling the personal relationship to winning in external settings, such as court, and punishing the former partner for leaving.
The video highlights Tina Swithins' "One Mom's Battle" post-separation abuse wheel, which outlines eight tactics, including alienating, neglecting/abusive parenting, counter-parenting, financial abuse, legal abuse, harassment/stalking, isolation, and coercive control. Hijackals also use children to create Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) as a means to express their anger and shame, using the children to get back at the former partner.
Adverse Childhood Experiences are traumatic events occurring before age 18, often facilitated by hijackals to manipulate and punish. These can include various forms of abuse and neglect, parental substance abuse, domestic violence in front of children, parental incarceration, parental mental illness or personality disorders, and the overall trauma of a high-conflict divorce.