Summary
Highlights
The episode introduces Ariana Kincaid, the world's second-biggest liar, from West Virginia. The host, Caroline Steel, explains her skepticism about Ariana's real name. The central question for the episode, posed by listener Anthony from Cambodia, asks: 'Why do we lie and how conscious are we of the lies that we tell?' Anthony notes that different cultures have different 'rule books' for lying.
Professor Kang Lee from the University of Toronto, an expert on children's lying, explains that children begin to lie around two and a half years old, shortly after they start forming sentences. The ability to lie requires understanding that others have different knowledge and the ability to inhibit the truth to create an alternative. He suggests that a child's first lie is a significant developmental milestone to be celebrated. Lying prevalence increases with age, with almost all seven-year-olds lying to cover transgressions. However, lying decreases during teenage years, then rises again in adulthood, often rationalized as 'moral licensing' or 'white lies'.
Ian Leslie, author of 'Born Liars: Why we can't live without deceit,' argues that lying is fundamental to human existence and society. Studies suggest people tell an average of two to three white lies daily. He introduces the Machiavellian theory of intelligence, suggesting that early humans developed social intelligence, including deception, to navigate complex social groups. Examples of ape deception illustrate these evolutionary roots, showing how deception is woven into our DNA, linked to our social intelligence.
Despite the prevalence of lying, moral codes universally condemn deceit, as illustrated by the fable 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf.' This moral code is essential for societal cooperation and functioning. The host acknowledges that even the show itself, by stitching together interviews, operates on a form of narrative construction, an 'unwritten understanding' with the audience.
Ariana Kincaid, the second-place winner in the World's Biggest Liar competition, explains the cultural significance of this annual storytelling contest in West Virginia. She shares that the key to good lying is believing what you're saying, even if it's untrue, and staying close to the truth to avoid physical betrayals of nervousness. The host expresses a shift in perspective, now seeing lying as a socially important skill she wants to improve.
Tali Sharot, a professor of cognitive neuroscience at UCL, discusses the brain activity involved in lying. Lying activates the frontal lobes (for suppressing truth and inventing new stories) and the amygdala (for emotional arousal). Her research shows that the more people lie, the less active their amygdala becomes, indicating emotional desensitization, or 'emotion habituation.' This process, often unconscious, can lead to an escalation of lying. While seemingly negative, habituation is an adaptive brain mechanism that filters out constant stimuli to conserve resources for more important matters.
Derek Scott, known as Let's Double Dutch, shares his observations on cultural differences in honesty between the Netherlands and the USA. Dutch culture values directness and truth, while American culture may involve more 'white lies' or polite untruths. This highlights how an individual's acceptable level of honesty adjusts when moving between cultures. The episode also mentions Japanese concepts of 'Honne' (true feelings) and 'Tatemae' (public behavior), and 'purple lies' in China for modesty, further emphasizing the diverse cultural flavors of lying.
Caroline Steel concludes that lying, while often seen negatively, benefits individuals and society when not overused. It allows for smoother social interactions and personal gain, but maintaining a baseline of trust is crucial for societal function. A humorous closing exchange with Derek Scott, who honestly shares his lack of enjoyment in the interview, contrasts with typical polite responses, further underscoring the complexities of honesty and social expectations.