Summary
Highlights
A crucial rule in negotiation is to never give something without getting something in return, even if what you are giving is not of high value to you. If you don't ask for something in return, the other party might not reciprocate in the future.
The law of reciprocity is considered one of the most powerful laws of human nature, stating that if someone does something nice for you, you feel obligated to do something nice in return. This applies to emotional reciprocity (making people feel good) and material/financial reciprocity (doing physical favors or lending items). Humans have a deep need to 'get even', which also means they feel similarly obligated if someone wrongs them.
To leverage reciprocity in negotiation, look for opportunities to do small favors for others, such as sharing interesting information, giving a book, or even simple courtesies like opening a door or getting coffee. These actions make people like you and feel obligated to you.
The Socratic method involves asking many questions and actively listening to the answers. This approach makes people like you more and makes them more open to being influenced. In negotiations, asking questions and appearing reasonable encourages the other party to be reasonable as well, due to reciprocation.
When disagreements arise in negotiation, suggest putting them aside temporarily with phrases like, 'Let's come back to this later.' Additionally, always agree slowly even on agreeable points. The slower you agree, the more leverage you will have when discussing more important issues later.
Using the word 'fair' repeatedly is a powerful persuasion technique. People, like children, react strongly to perceived unfairness. Politicians often use this tactic to trigger an emotional response and encourage compliance or a change of stance from opponents, regardless of the objective truth.
Remember that price and terms are distinct. You can agree to almost any price if you can dictate the terms. Negotiate for favorable terms, even if it means a higher nominal price, as flexible terms can significantly alter the actual value and feasibility of an agreement.