Summary
Highlights
The speaker recalls meeting Dr. Stevens in the cafeteria, where Dr. Stevens lost interest upon learning the speaker was from China. Despite years of sharing meals at the same table, they hardly spoke, though the speaker humorously suggests they share the commonality of being the 'two most beautiful looking people on campus'.
To prepare for the speech, the speaker claims to have had a 'long, deep, and intense' conversation with Dr. Stevens. The speaker then makes two disclaimers: that what they are about to say will be offensive but will be said anyway, and that it is 'nothing but the truth', based on this conversation, six years of observation, and random imaginings.
The speaker satirically details Dr. Stevens' preferences, stating that he only likes silent movies, with his favorite being 'The 10 Commandments' (1959), which was the only movie he watched after 'Gone with the Wind' (1939).
Dr. Stevens is portrayed as living a disciplined life, spending most of his time in his office until 9:30 PM. He wakes daily at 5:30 AM to either run or think, depending on the weather. Running keeps him in shape, but thinking caused him to lose all his hair.
When asked what he would do differently if he could start over, Dr. Stevens reportedly said he would do almost exactly the same things: marry the same woman, teach physics at the same college, and use the same office with the same computer running Windows 95. His only desired change would be a 'better supervisor'.