Men Must Chase In The Beginning Stages Of Dating

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Summary

Eric Peterson, a men's dating and relationship coach, discusses the nuanced role of chasing in the early stages of dating. He addresses a viewer's email about a girl who pulled away because she felt he wasn't chasing her enough. Eric explains that while constant chasing is generally discouraged, men do need to initiate and pursue in the very beginning to get the courtship started. He outlines how the chasing dynamic should evolve over time, with the woman eventually showing more initiative once attraction is established.

Highlights

Introduction to the Topic and Viewer's Email
00:00:00

Eric Peterson introduces the topic: "Men Must Chase In The Beginning." He shares a viewer's email about a girl he was seeing for two months who suddenly pulled away, claiming he wasn't chasing her. Eric acknowledges that while he and other coaches advise against constant chasing, there's a crucial initial phase where men need to initiate the courtship.

The Importance of Initial Pursuit
00:02:58

Eric explains that a woman pulling back can sometimes be a test to see if a man genuinely likes her and will pursue her. He clarifies that chasing shouldn't be about pretending not to like her, but about not overdoing it. He advises that the man should subtly initiate contact and arrange dates, giving the woman space but remaining persistent in the early stages.

Navigating Other Dating and Maintaining Composure
00:04:21

The viewer mentions seeing the girl posting about another date, making him jealous. Eric emphasizes that unless in an exclusive relationship, both parties are free to date others. He advises maintaining confidence and patience, as a woman with high attraction will eventually reach out, which the girl in the email did after three weeks.

Woman's Perspective on Chasing and Making Her Feel Special
00:07:11

The girl in the email eventually explained she stopped talking to the viewer because she felt he only wanted sex and didn't make her feel special. Eric highlights that while leading to sex is natural, making her feel special and cared for is a key ingredient. He stresses the importance of making a woman feel desired beyond physical attraction.

The Dynamics of Chasing: Initial vs. Long-Term
00:08:29

Eric explains the difference between initial chasing and long-term dynamics. In the beginning, the man is expected to chase, initiating the courtship (around 80-95% of the effort). However, once attraction grows, the dynamic should shift, with the woman initiating contact more (around 60% of the time). This allows the man to remain the 'catch' and maintain her attraction.

Subtle Ways Women Chase
00:10:40

Eric notes that women's chasing is often more subtle and indirect than men's. They might put themselves in a man's orbit by contacting him or appearing in the same places, hoping he'll take the hint and make a move.

Summary of an Ideal Chasing Dynamic
00:11:24

Eric provides a rundown of an ideal scenario: meet, get her number, have good dates, keep phone contact minimal while arranging weekly dates, and let her gradually show more interest. Once she starts initiating contact and hinting at wanting to see more, that's when the man can slowly back off, and the chasing dynamic flips. He concludes by emphasizing that if a woman isn't making an effort, it's her loss, and the man should move on to someone more receptive.

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