Summary
Highlights
Richard Reeves introduces the sensitive topic of challenges faced by boys and men, noting that many people fear that addressing these issues diminishes the focus on girls and women. He explains that neglecting these problems creates a 'vicious cycle' where fewer men in crucial areas (education, fast-growing job sectors, families) make it harder for other boys and men to flourish.
Reeves highlights the unexpected trend of girls and women significantly outperforming boys and men in education across almost all measures, ages, and advanced economies. He notes that while historically the focus was on promoting women's education, the gender gap has flipped, with women now having an advantage. He illustrates this with U.S. data: girls are a grade level ahead in English, two-thirds of top GPA students are girls, and fewer boys are at the top, and the college degree gap in favor of women is now wider than the gap in favor of men was in 1972.
Reeves delves into the biological differences in brain development, explaining that girls' brains, particularly the prefrontal cortex (responsible for executive functions), develop one to two years earlier than boys'. This gives girls an advantage in school systems that reward organization, homework completion, and long-term planning, as these systems inadvertently align better with girls' earlier developmental stages. He points out the irony that the progress of women has revealed these structural disadvantages for boys in education.
To address the educational gap, Reeves proposes three main solutions: encouraging boys to start school a year later to align with their slower brain development, significantly increasing the number of male teachers (currently only 24% of K-12 teachers are male), and investing more in vocational education and training. He argues that the U.S. overemphasizes academic routes for success, disadvantaging boys who might thrive in vocational fields.
Reeves discusses the economic downturn for men across four dimensions since 1979: lower real wages, decreased labor force participation (9 million prime-age men not working), a drop in occupational stature, and reduced acquisition of necessary skills. He emphasizes that while men and women at the top have benefited from economic growth, working-class men, especially Black men, face amplified struggles. He introduces the concept of 'HEAL jobs' (health, education, administration, and literacy) which are growing faster than STEM jobs but are highly gender-segregated and increasingly female-dominated, with no initiatives to attract men.
Reeves addresses the 'dad deficit,' where one in four fathers do not live with their children, and many lose contact after separation. He notes that with 40% of American women earning more than the average man, the traditional 'breadwinner father' model is obsolete. This shift, while liberating for women, poses questions about the role of fathers and leaves many men feeling unneeded. Critically, boys in fatherless homes suffer more than girls, leading to intergenerational male disadvantage in education and the labor market.
Reeves links men's struggles in education, work, and family to alarming health consequences, particularly 'deaths of despair' from suicide, overdose, and alcohol, which are three times higher among men, especially middle-aged and younger men. He points out that men often describe themselves as 'worthless' or 'useless' before suicide attempts, highlighting a profound loss of purpose. The opioid crisis, with higher death rates among isolated men, serves as a stark illustration of men's withdrawal and the broader male malaise, emphasizing society's collective responsibility to help men and boys adapt to the new world.