SpongeBob 'saves' Squidward from choking on food, claiming his bad clarinet playing in the wilderness attracted a danger, which he reveals to be a 'Sea Bear'.

Squidward expresses disbelief in Sea Bears, calling them a myth. SpongeBob and Patrick insist on their reality, citing tabloid articles as proof.

Squidward, humoring them, asks for a list of things that attract Sea Bears. SpongeBob and Patrick list numerous absurd actions, such as playing the clarinet, waving a flashlight, stomping, eating cubed cheese, wearing a sombrero in a goofy fashion, clown shoes, a hoop skirt, or screeching like a chimpanzee.

Skeptical, Squidward intentionally performs all the actions said to attract a Sea Bear. After nothing happens, he mockingly wears his sombrero in a "goofy fashion," which immediately summons a Sea Bear.

The Sea Bear repeatedly attacks Squidward for every action he takes, including running, limping, and crawling, despite SpongeBob and Patrick's warnings.

After several attacks, SpongeBob guides Squidward to draw an anti-Sea-Bear circle, a defense he and Patrick had been using. Squidward draws an oval initially, leading to another attack, but eventually draws a perfect circle, which magically protects him.

Relieved, Squidward thanks them, but SpongeBob then reveals that the anti-Sea-Bear circle wouldn't protect against a Sea Rhinoceros, which is attracted to the sound of a Sea Bear attack. Luckily, they are all wearing anti-Sea-Rhinoceros undergarments.